signs, symptoms and cures of the spiritual diseases of the heart
Modesty becomes blameworthy if it prevents one from denouncing what clearly should be denounced, such as tyranny or corruption. This form of modesty results in meekness at a time when one needs to be forthright and courageous.
Blameworthy modesty results in timid failure to denounce what unequivocally deserves denouncement or to ask about important matters from those who are knowledgeable.
Something condemnable (munkar) is condemnable regardless of the status of the person who is engaged in it—whether he or she is a close relative or a person of status, wealth, or authority.
There must be agreement, however, among scholars on what is condemnable. One cannot, for example, declare decisively that something is considered condemnable if there is a difference of opinion on it among the scholars. Scholars knowledgeable of the plentitude of juristic differences rarely condemn others. They refrain from such condemnation not because of modesty but because of their extensive knowledge and scholarly insight. Unfortunately, many people today are swift to condemn, which creates another disease: self-righteousness.
A woman once came to the Prophet ﷺ asking a specific question about menstruation. The Prophet ﷺ answered her, but the woman persisted in asking for more detail. The Prophet ﷺ then asked Aisha to show the woman what he meant, for it was awkward for him. Some women even sent the cloth used for their menstrual protection to seek out with certainty what constitutes the beginning and the end of the menses, which determines whether or not certain rites of worship may be resumed. Most women would not feel comfortable with that, but the modesty of these women did not prevent them from seeking out knowledge about their religious affairs.
Virtuous modesty is rooted in generosity and kindness; this is an acceptable kind of modesty.
The Prophet ﷺ invited people for a wedding ceremony and meal. The guests came but lingered in his presence much longer than necessary. In fact, three of them remained late into the evening. The Prophet ﷺ, in his generosity, stayed with them and patiently waited for his guests to complete their visit. The guests, however, tarried with the Prophet ﷺ because they loved his company.
The Prophet ﷺ was too modest to tell his guests that it was time to leave.
"The best women were the women of the Ansar because modesty did not prevent them from learning the religion" (Aisha, The Prophet's wife)
Had modesty been a person, it would have been a righteous
one and would do nothing but good in whatever it did.
"[Believers], when you are invited, then enter. And when you have completed the meal, disperse, and do not linger on for conversation. This used to hurt the Prophet, but he shied away from [telling] you. But God is not shy of the truth" (Qur'an, 33:53)